I failed as a father.
And here’s how I fixed everything.
Father’s Day Plans
We had plans to visit my wife’s parents for a family get together, but Jared is sick. So, the girls went up to the in-laws, while the boys had a lazy day.
The only thing my son could really do was watch movies, and here’s where my former-failure/current success happened.
I introduced him to The Sandlot for the first time.
I know. I know.
“Erik! That’s torture! How could you keep that from him for so long?!”
“What?! He’s 8 years old and you’re just now introducing him to this?!”
Keep them coming… I deserve them all.
Jared’s love for baseball
Jared has played baseball the past couple of years, and this year he made some huge improvements, including doing very well at the season-ending tournament. He’s started watching Little League World Series highlights on YouTube and loves all things baseball at this point.
So, I thought that waiting until he’s 8 would make the most sense for several reasons.
1. He actually somewhat understand baseball now.
2. He’s old enough to recognize, remember, and maybe even have one the dozens of swear words slip out in his everyday conversations.
3. He can truly appreciate Wendy Peffercorn and all that she represents… although… maybe I should’ve introduced him to her before he was 8… so the whole baptism thing could’ve had a more meaningful impact, ya know?
So on Father’s Day of 2023, Jared and I watched the Sandlot as father and son. It was beautiful. So many great memories. So many classic quotes.
So many questionable hits that somehow turn into home runs.
For example…
Caitlin loves it when I do this by the way. Take a show that is fun and light, and then point out all the mistakes while everyone’s trying to enjoy the show.
I only do it for her.
Hitting mess up #1 – “Please catch it…”
So that famous scene where Benny tells Smalls to just hold his glove up in the air and he (Benny) will take care of the rest, and then he (Benny again) hits a high fly ball straight into Smalls’ glove in left center… remember that one?
Miraculous.
So much skill from Benny.
Major turning point in Smalls’ life.
Totally wrong.
Based on the ball’s launch angle, Benny stripes a ground ball straight to 3rd base.
If it was a “real” game, Smalls is standing out there with his eyes closed and talking to himself, waiting for a fly ball, while the runner is rounding the bases because the ball probably killed the 3rd baseman and rolled on the ground to Smalls’ right.
Smalls looks even more like a doofus who can’t play baseball, he is ridiculed even more, and, after years of counseling, he’s now in his 30’s and sees Benny on some random street and says, “Dude… what the hell?!”
Hitting mess up #2 – Ham’s Home Run
I love Ham and the actor that plays him. One of the greatest classic characters of all time. But his home run…
It was most likely a pop up foul ball down the 1st baseline.
First baseman makes an easy catch near the dugout. Ham is out. They keep playing ball. Smalls doesn’t try to go over the fence until later that day when Benny cranks another grounder… ahem… sorry… I mean home run over the fence and Smalls tries to retrieve the ball again. No real change to the plot line.
Hitting mess up #3 – Benny hitting the cover off the baseball
Look, I’ll give you the sheer impossibility of this happening on the very first hit of this ball’s life, let alone the 1,000th hit.
The real beef is that would go WAY differently today.
Based on the 1962 party banner with the cake fiasco, I’m comfortable placing this as approximately summer, 1962. So…
Early 1960’s kids:
“Aww shucks, now we can’t play ball no more 
“
2023 kids:
“Mooooommmm! The ball broke on the first hit!”
2023 mom:
“I’m logging into Amazon and getting a refund!”
An email, some pictures, a negative review, an Instagram post bragging about how good her son is, and 1-2 days later, a brand new, shiny ball arrives. Maybe even a dozen.
Plot line probably stays the same though.
The return has to be processed and same-day shipping probably isn’t happening, so they still need a ball.
Smalls still takes Baby Ruth’s ball (clearly says Babe btw), and he still…
Hitting mess up #3 – Smalls’ home run
First, as a former pitcher… Kenny “The Heater” would immediately notice two things:
1. The different brand ball that most definitely is higher quality than one-hit cover-shredder Spalding balls from Vincent Drug.
2. It’s signed by someone right along my two-seam fastball grip.
Moving on, I don’t know that a single strike is thrown all movie, but he (Smalls) laces a special-effect-produced line drive right to dead center.
Real life – solid hit right to the center fielder for a stand up single.
Center fielder, fields the ball. Also notices something’s different about this now-dirty, Babe Ruth signed ball. Says, “Guys… hold up…” They all realize Smalls lied and doesn’t know anything about baseball.
He is ridiculed hard, but at least he can catch and throw now, so he can stay But he is taunted for life.
Movie… towering home run over the left center fence.
Benny hallucinates Babe Ruth.
Heroes get remembered, but legends never die.
The rest is history.
Last observation is not a hitting mess, just an observation.
Hercules is a male dog. No mistaking those.
Jared is watching it again as I type this with Claire, and she is also loving it. She said, “even though it’s a baseball movie, I like it cuz of the doggie.”
Even though I’ve been a father for 10 years, it wasn’t until Father’s Day 2023 that I became a legit dad.
Erik Soderborg 