Words of Wisdom
I had the same conversation on three different occasions with three close friends, and surprisingly, each friend had a different opinion on this topic.
Here was the question:
How much of where you find yourself today would you attribute to LUCK?
Both good and bad luck.
One friend didn’t believe luck was a thing.
One friend felt that it is mostly his effort with a little luck sprinkled in there.
One friend felt that life is mostly luck, with our effort topping it all off.
I went so far as to create a poll on Linkedin to see how my professional network approached this idea.
Here’s what LinkedIn said:
And I guess to even start having this conversation, we all need to agree on a definition of luck.
Some call it fortune.
Some call it chance.
Some call it divine guidance.
Regardless of what you call it, here’s how I’ll define it for the purposes of this thought:
Luck is any event outside your control that directly affects your life.
I know, I know… that definition is broad and sways this conversation into supporting how much I feel luck influences our lives. Spoiler, I think it has a huge roll.
If you’ll allow, I have 1 story that is actually 3 stories, and scientifically proves my point (no science is actually involved).
Story 1.1
My dad coached me in several sports growing up, basketball being my passion. He decided to take on the head coach roll at my middle school when I was in 8th grade.
His choice. Not mine.
The 1st day of tryouts happened to be on the same day as the 1st day of tryouts for the high school we fed into (Hillcrest).
Several 9th graders (9th graders were in middle school) wanted to go to the high school tryouts, but if they got cut from the high school, they still wanted a chance to play for the middle school team.
So, my dad being the sensible man that he is, told them, “Look, if you go to the high school tryouts, you have an auto-pass for our 1st day.
Go to the high school.
If you make it, great.
If you don’t, come to our 2nd day of tryouts.”
Somehow, this pretty simple strategy made it to the Hillcrest high school coach – however, much like the telephone game we’ve all played, he heard something different.
He heard that my dad was telling 9th graders NOT to go try out at the high school.
Naturally, high school coach calls my dad, says some not-so-nice things, and that night, my dad tells me that I won’t be going to Hillcrest.
Story 1.2
I end up going to Jordan High School, I would argue, mostly due to events completely outside my control. They were coming off a trip to the state championship under the leadership of legendary coach, Hal Hale.
As luck would have it, he retires before my 9th grade year. And while my basketball career ended up being lackluster, guess who I met at Jordan?
A certain gal named Caitlin Maurer.
I saw her on my 2nd day at Jordan, and developed what I would call a crush, and what everyone else who knew me during this time would call – an obsession.
She was (is) hot. And I wanted to be her boyfriend – whatever THAT means in high school.
The problem is, I haven’t always been this charming, gregarious, outgoing person that I am (not) today. In fact, if you meet me in-person, I’m still quite shy and reserved until we get to know each other better.
So, my strategy to woo Caitlin into falling madly in love with me during those teenage years was this: Don’t talk to her for 3 years.
What do you want me to say? I was scared?!
Yes. I was 100% scared.
Story 1.3
After spending 2 years in Russia on a church service mission, I realized that if I can talk to Russians about Jesus, surely I can talk to a girl about… I dunno… Jesus?
21-year-old Erik had game.
(21-year-old Erik had ZERO game)
I come home and, much to my surprise, she’s not married! Sweet! However, she had several suitors.
She had just come home from college and was in an interesting time of her life. Had I been around 6 months earlier, or 6 months later, I don’t believe we would’ve ever connected the way we did.
But we did.
And over the course of a few months, my awkwardness and total lack of understanding around how to be cool somehow won her over.
She’s always been charitable, and agreeing to spend life with me automatically gets her into the highest place of wherever you believe we go after this life.
We get married.
We are married.
We have 3 beautiful, wonderful kids.
How did all this happen?
This all happened BECAUSE my dad chose to be the head coach of a middle school basketball team.
Now, I know THAT isn’t the only reason. There were millions of decisions and actions that I made during that time. But the way I see it, I never even meet Caitlin without that phone call the night the high school coach shared his thoughts with my dad.
I probably end up going to Hillcrest with my childhood friends, probably win a state championship, probably become bigger, better, and more famous than LeBron James, probably meet a different gal – nowhere near as cool as Caitlin, of course… we’ll just never know…
Let me try one other angle.
I firmly believe, that a HUGE, if not THE BIGGEST determination of where we end up involves:
- WHEN we are born – meaning, the year (100 BC vs 1900s).
- WHERE we are born – meaning America vs Russia, as an example.
- TO WHOM we are born – our parents.
I don’t feel like I had any control over these.
Yet those three things will influence our lives and the people we become as much as anything.
My seduction style of ignoring Caitlin for years… totally influenced by those 3 factors.
What’s my point?
The point is this:
As someone who likes to be in control of his life, the more I think, the more I realize how little control I actually have.
The stock market, international wars, my mom’s cancer, what my kids do at school, the relationships of friends, and family members, and coworkers, and you reading this… I have an infinitesimally small amount of control over any of this.
And accepting that is scary.
But… I can control some things.
And in the grand scheme of it all, they are small.
But to me, it’s all I have.
I can control how I treat myself.
I can control how I treat others.
I can control what I write and share with you and the world.
My circle of influence is not impressive, especially if we’re looking to topple nations, or call up a celebrity to party, or raise millions of dollars for a cause.
My circle is small.
But goodness… that small circle is my whole reason for existing here on this little planet, spinning in the middle of nowhere. I feel as though my purpose is to help as many people in that little circle, as much as I possibly can.
Because when I do… THAT is when I feel most alive.
That is when I feel like my actions actually mean something.
And while everyone is different, a big part of me feels like we all want to do meaningful things.
So, with that… good luck 😊
Book Recommendations
You two book recommendations in this one!
Recommendation #1
The Psychology of Money
Morgan Housel
Look, I absolutely loved this book.
And to the friend who didn’t like this book, you know who you are, I still love and respect you. Probably more so for being willing to share your opinion.
Yes, it is a book about finances, and stock markets, and investments… but I took so much more from this book that applies to life in general, outside of just money.
One of my favorite quotes from the book is from Napoleon.
His definition of a military genius:
“The man who can do the average thing when everyone else around him is losing his mind.”
The author says it’s the same with investing.
I think it’s the same with many things – sports, kids, work, relationships… you name it.
There are so many other impactful lessons, and I really hope you enjoy this book.
Recommendation #2
The End of Craving
Mark Schatzker
I have been trying to eat “better.” I put it in quotations because everyone’s definition of healthy eating seems to shift… a lot.
“Go keto.”
“Protein only.”
“Avoid all carbs.”
“Just carbs.”
“Use healthy oils.”
“Don’t use oils.”
“Fat is the enemy.”
“Sugar is the enemy.”
And on, and on it goes.
This book references several interesting studies around what seems to cause obesity and unhealthy eating habits. I’ve been implementing many recommendations mentioned in this book, while also cheating quite a bit 😊
Note that if you do purchase a book through these links, I do make a small commission. You don’t pay any more. Just a few pennies go to me rather than Jeff Bezos.
Hey, if you like my rambling thoughts and book recommendations, what if you subscribed to this newsletter? How cool would that be?
Answer: Pretty darn cool.
Erik Soderborg 