Halloween is finally past us, thank goodness.
I’ve never been a fan of Halloween, and I’ll tell you why, but first, I need to share something that happened in a car ride with my kids last week.
We were all driving home in our sexy minivan, and out of the back seat, Jared asks, “Dad, have you ever lied to us?”
Without hesitation, I said, “Oh yeah, I lie to you ALL the time.”
Caitlin laughed.
They laughed.
I laughed.
Then, I think it hit them, and Noel was like, “Wait… what have you lied to us about.”
I turn up the radio way too loud and shout, “What? I can’t hear you!”
This will all make sense (maybe) in a minute
Okay, back to why I’ve never liked Halloween.
First, I’ve always been a bit of a scaredy dog (I’m allergic to cats).
I don’t like scary movies. I don’t like being scared. Clowns are the worst. None of that does it for me. All the costumes freak me out.
Second… starting when I was in second grade, I got SUPER sick on Halloween.
All the worst things like not being able to keep anything down, sore throat, aches & pains… it was probably Covid…
But, for that year, I couldn’t go trick or treating, and just laid in bed.
Third grade rolls around and I got sick again. Different kind of sick (still probably Covid, though), but I wasn’t able to go trick or treating… AGAIN!
My mom tried to console my 9-year-old self, because I was understandably upset that I didn’t get to stuff my face with candy like all my friends.
Being the wise, creative, loving parent she is, she told me the following:
“Erik, God is probably doing this on purpose. You see, I think that terrorists are poisoning candy anyway so that they can make American kids weak, but since you are sick on Halloween, you’re going to be protected and strong.”
Seems logical.
Who REALLY knows?
Maybe she was right…
And THAT’S how, at 9-years-old, I became a full-fledged conspiracy theorist.
Here’s where my parents and their lying story ties back in. All makes sense now, right?
Pretty sure we, as parents, are constantly lying to our kids, all while telling them to tell the truth. The perks of being an adult…
Wrapping up this part
You won’t believe this, and that’s okay, but I got sick on Halloween six years in a row. From 2nd grade through 7th grade – the PRIME trick or treating years. I basically didn’t have a real childhood, and probably explains a lot.
8th grade rolls around, and by this time, I’m too old to go trick or treating anyway, so yeah, never been a fan.
And good thing, too.
Suck it terrorists!
Now I have kids
My kids love Halloween. They love poisonous candy. They love watching shows that are scary, and now that it is mid-November, I’m praying they will stop having scary nightmares from the Halloween movies they watched all of October after insisting that “they’re old enough” and “we promise we won’t be scared” and “we promise we know it’s not real.” Only to have them come crashing into our bedroom in the middle of the night crying because they are scared of whatever make-believe character was running through their mind after watching Hocus Pocus three weeks ago.
Does this ever happen to any of you?
No?
Just me?
Awesome.
I have a couple pictures of our family’s coordinated costumes at the end of this (if you’re interested).
November
Now… it’s time for all of us to enjoy the best month of the year…
The one that we’re ALL grateful comes around and brings us so much perspective on what we’re truly thankful for…
The month we all celebrate with enthusiasm and gusto because of a very special and important date…
Even though I don’t need to say it… because we all know what it is… I’m going to anyway.
In fact, let’s say it together – on three.
1…
2…
3…
My Birthday.
My birthday is in November, which means I am one year older, and questionable as to whether or not I’m any wiser.
Here’s what I got on that front.
Words of Wisdom
Okay… here’s the big secret.
But you have to pinky-promise not to tell ANYONE…
I hate my birthday.
Like… I want to hide-in-my-room-and-not-come-out – hate my birthday.
And not because I’m afraid of getting older – I just genuinely don’t like the attention for doing something that was pretty much out of my control.
“Good job being born!”
Gee… thanks.
It took a lot of effort.
I also have a pretty big issue with presents. I’m really, really, really bad at showing emotion outside of the awkward, laughing away of my insecurities.
You can ask Trenton, the president and fearless leader of our company, because on more than one occasion (just this week) he’s said, “You’re so hard to read! I don’t know what you’re thinking.”
Earth to Trenton… there’s not a lot rattling around in this noggin’.
Chances are, I’m not thinking about anything.
But he can’t know that.
He could share the greatest news in the world with me:
“Erik, Roger Federer just called, he wants to play tennis with you!”
(still waiting for this call, and this might actually make me cry)
Or, devastating news:
“Erik, did you see that someone left a mean comment about you on YouTube?”
(I cry on the inside)
And my emotional reaction is pretty close to the same.
“Oh… cool. Okay.
The Perfect Gift
So, when it comes to receiving gifts… there are people who put a lot of time and effort into coming up with the PERFECT gift for me.
After I open the glittery card…
Hold up.
I have a bone to pick with glitter.
I’m convinced that terrorists probably invented glitter, too.
Seriously.
Never has anyone ever enjoyed getting glitter in every possible orifice, and that will never fully go away.
My car got glitter bombed when Caitlin and I got married, and 3 years later, when I traded it into a dealer, the dealer was like, “yo, what’s with the glitter?”
I mean think about it. We Glitter-bomb people we hate! Mark Rober made a bunch of glitter bombs for thieves stealing packages off people’s porches! He has a 7-video series of this!
So, if you’re ever thinking, “Hey, this glitter card is cute.”
Stop yourself. Put it back. And stop supporting terrorists.
Okay, back to the story of the Perfect Gift.
There are people in my life who truly try and make my birthday special.
We have YEARS of shared history with countless sentimental memories and inside jokes. They know me as well as my own parents or siblings, and when they hand me a beautiful custom-made gift, I can just see it in their eyes… they are fully expecting me to break down in tears and shower them with hugs…
but alas, I inevitably leave them severely disappointed.
After I open the glittery card (ugh) and pull out the $20 bill… I say,
“Gee, thanks. This was really thoughtful of you.”
Then it gets all awkward as they look at me with those big, expectant eyes, just waiting for the tears to stream down my cheeks, and they say…
“Di.. Did you see what’s inside, though?! Did you read the card I made?! Did you see the $20 bill?!”
“Yeah. I mean… These are really great. Thank you. Seriously.”
Their shoulders slouch.
They look at my kids like, “What’s the matter with your dad? Why isn’t he weeping?”
And then I have to be the “bad guy” and say,
“Look, Caitlin…. you’re my wife… and paying me 20 dollars on my birthday… it just doesn’t hit as hard as it used to.”
Inflation’s a real thing.
So yeah, I’m a terrible person to be around on my birthday.
But! There’s a yin and a yang to everything, because, you see, I LOOOOVE giving a perfect gift that I know is going to blow someone away.
So, here’s what I’ve learned…
While I may not enjoy a certain thing for my own reasons – someone else may LOVE that thing for their own reasons. And just like I enjoy when someone actively participates in the things I’m passionate about…
There are times where I can also actively participate in things that the people I care about are passionate about.
Holidays.
Certain family gatherings.
Exercise classes.
Birthdays…
I can unlock the bedroom door where I’m hiding… put the cellphone down… and be present and excited for the people I love.
And just like I USED to not like plays and musicals and art galleries and classical music – maybe… just maybe… I’ll learn to enjoy:
Holidays.
Certain family gatherings.
Exercise classes.
Birthd…
Nope, nope, nope… can’t do it.
I’ll never enjoy my birthday.
I can only concede so much here, people!
The REAL November Holiday
This month is the month of No Shave November…
See?! I can’t deal with serious emotions…
No.
This month is the month of Thanksgiving, and I’m pretty sure the vast majority of people who read these posts know me personally. And for those of you who read this, but are strangers, my message of “thank you” goes out to you, too.
Thank you for being a part of my life. Whether we are still close, and get the chance to see each other regularly, or it’s been years. People come in and out of our lives at various times, and even though life separates us, know the feelings of love and respect are still there.
Okay, enough with the “real” emotions… now on to the Book Recommendation.
Book Recommendation
Leonardo da Vinci
Walter Isaacson
Look, my kids watched the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles this past week for the first time, and yes, they had nightmares about that too, but I think we can all agree that Leonardo is the best.
My kids know all of the turtles’ …
hmm… that’s an interesting word to say out loud… Turtles’… Turtleses…
Did you just try to say it out loud?
You and I will share this moment forever.
Anyway… my kids know all the names, and I had the opportunity to give them a mind-melting moment of true history and culture… blessing them with an unending well of knowledge around the four masters of renaissance art.
After eloquently delivering my circa-2012 PowerPoint presentation about Donatello, Leonardo, Michelangelo, and Raphael (ordered oldest to youngest… impressed?) that I made in college, I was expecting them to say something like:
“Wow dad! You’re so smart! That’s amazing!”
“You just proved how important school is! We’ll never complain about homework again!”
“Leonardo totally IS the best! We’re so glad you told us!”
“No dad… NO…. Leonardo IS NOT the best… YOU’RE the best.”
Instead, all I got was, “SHHHH! They’re fighting Superfly! We can’t hear!”
So, while my kids may never understand nor appreciate high-culture art, I hope you do.
This book was awesome.
Leonardo da Vinci was a genius and the inventions, sculptures, paintings, anatomical discoveries, insight into the scientific method, and more are genuinely astounding.
Some people… ya know?!
They just function on a different level.
Oh! And have you ever noticed the Mona Lisa doesn’t have eyebrows?
The most famous painting in the world, and the girl doesn’t have eyebrows?!
What’s Leo’s deal?!
Don’t worry, there’s a reason… and it’s in the book.
How’s that for suspense?
Note that if you do purchase a book through these links, I do make a itty bitty commission.
You don’t pay any more. Just a few pennies go to me rather than Jeff Bezos.
PS – here are those Family Halloween Costumes:
That’s all I got for this one, and look, if you made it this far… something must’ve made you stick around for this long.
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See you in the next one.
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Erik Soderborg 